Star Wars The Clone Wars: Season 4

First time here? Get caught up with the mission statement, Episode I, Episode II, the Clone Wars movie, the first season of the show, the second and the third.

Here we are, guys, Season 4. This season has the distinction of being the last full (re: 22 episodes) season of the show, and the penultimate season to air on Cartoon Network, and even if it hadn't been likely been from the network untimely ripped due to Lucasfilm's acquisition by the great and glorious Mouse, you can see why the network mightn't have felt the show was suitable for their non-Adult Swim block for much longer. Sure, I've commented on the show's darkness before, and this season matches it and pushes further, but hey, Samurai Jack could get dark. Hell, CN's most popular show had its protagonist lose his hand and grapple with father issues. But this season wasn't just dark, it actually got creepy. Like, scary creepy, in a way I'm sure probably disturbed some younger viewers. The season starts with adorable Mon Calamari fighting a villain straight out of Shark Tale, and by the end they're watching an emaciated half-machine blood-red and horned creature cackle madly in an underground lair. Some of the imagery this season, while not likely to keep any adult up at night, are some of those childhood-scarring visages that linger forever in the back of the mind (a la Freddy Kreuger's stretching arms, the exploding "dog" in The Thing, or whatever is lodged in your particular brain from your single-digit decade that still makes you shudder).

That said, from a storytelling perspective, the season starts out rocky, around the level Season 3 let us at, and hits a two-episode drag, but then promptly lifts off in a huge upswing to provide some of the most mature, stunning and entertaining stories of the whole season. I know for me, there's a few stories this season I'll be returning to time and time again, even sooner than I will the prequel films that proceeded the series. But before we get to any of that, let's start off under the sea...

Remember how Season 1 gave us a string of standard cutesy cartoon storylines of little consequence to the overall saga of Star Wars? And remember how those storylines could have made fine one or two episode arcs, but were almost always stretched thin into three? Well, if you've become nostalgic for those days, they're briefly back again with Water War, Gungan Attack and Prisoners. Basically, after the assassination of King Kolina of Mon Cala, the Mon Calamari and the Quarren are at odds over whether the King's son, Prince Lee-Char, has enough experience to maintain the strenuous coexistence between the two races. The Republic and the Separatists both have a vested interest in who takes power, one sending Anakin and Padme (which is weird, right? It's weird they keep putting a single Senator's life on the line for diplomatic missions that could easily be carried out by...other diplomats? Or the many, many decoys she once had? That's weird, right?) the other sending Riff Tamsen, a humanoid shark because it's a water themed episode, get it? Tension grows, and over the course of three episodes, civil war breaks out. There are some really inconsequential twists and turns, Gungans arrive as back-up for Lee-Char, and a pre-Admiralty Akbar (for those following for the first time canonically, Admiral Akbar is perhaps the greatest absurd character in the original trilogy) supplies some good entertainment, but all in all, you know where this goes. Lee-Char learn to lead and unites the people against the obviously corrupt Tamsen, and the day is saved. We good? Ok, let's move on.

Ok, so at its core, the episode deals with the Gungans, and particularly with Jar Jar dressing up as the king who he looks a great deal like. Jar Jar's Prince & the Pauper, in a sense; and while I'll agree that sounds awful, and I was bracing myself for crap, the above image of Grievous and his sabers in the rain and the episode title Shadow Warriors should instill a little faith in you.

Anakin and Padme seek out Jar Jar to confirm a rumor that Boss Lyone (I guess somewhere along the line Boss Nass bit the big one) plans to attack Theed. Once confirmed, they confront Lyone, who they discover has been possessed b y a magical necklace given to him by his new aide, Rish Loo. Anakin removes the necklace with the force, and Lyone goes to confront Loo, who's working under the orders of Count Dooku, only to be stabbed by his one-time advisor. Panicked, Anakin and PAdme don't know how to call off the attack until Jar Jar inadvertently inspires a plan; it seems Jar Jar strongly resembles Lyone (he puts on the Boss' hat just to ease carrying his garments as the Boss undergoes treatment for his injuries). Anakin takes off after the fleeing Loo while Jar Jar must carry on the ruse of being Lyone under the scrutiny of General Grievous and his droid army, who intend to join the Gungans in the fight (when Jar Jar first sees Grievous, he's frozen in fear, a moment they play for slapstick humor, and somehow it works. I laughed. I'll say it, I like this character). Jar Jar stalls to the best of his abilities, while General Tarpals disables Grievous' droid army as per Padme's instructions. Eventually, though, Grievous becomes wise to the ruse, and Tarpals gives his life in order to get close enough to Grievous to disable him.

Darth Sidious, furious at the capture of Grievous, devises a plan to reclaim him by luring Anakin into a trap. When Anakin tracks Loo to a lair, he enters to find Count Dooku, who slays Loo and shocks Skywalker into unconsciousness. Offering a trade, one general for another, Padme is torn, but ultimately relents, and Grievous is returned to his side, Anakin returned to his, but at least planetary civil war has been avoided. Overall, Shadow Warriors is a much more engaging story than you'd think from the outset, and shows the potential the Gungan race has for captivating storylines. Now, on the opposite end of the "good story" spectrum...

This might have been the low point to the series. Yes, even lower than a Hutt baby named Stinky. Ho-ly hell. I mean, within the first few minutes, a trooper remarks "Great, it's gonna be another one of those planets", which serves as a meta-commentary for the tedium you experience over the course of a needlessly two-episode arc Mercy Mission and Nomad Droids. I feel bad speaking ill of an episode that was likely well intentioned, designed to entertain younger viewers with the bumbling, Hidden Fortress-esque antics of C-3PO and R2-D2, but at the end of the day its so ill-fitting with the rest of the series, and bereft of any sense of originality or purpose that its almost undeniably nothing but filler. The two droids fall down a hole at the start of the mission, and we're treated to little more than "homages" to the Lilliputians of Gulliver's Travels and the "man behind the curtain" from The Wizard of Oz, dragged out to a snail's crawl of predicability and inconsequentiality that the only memorable moments are the points of recognition when you recall the better works these episodes are lifting from. Ultimately, the droids escape their predicament unscathed, unchanged, and ultimately the viewer is left unfazed. But if we didn't lose you yet, strap in, cause its about to get ****ing amazing. I mean it.

For a series that tends to stretch stories out too far, this quadrilogy (Darkness on Umbara, The General, Plan of Dissent and Carnage of Krell) earn every ounce of their run time, by seemingly forgoing all the elements of the fantastic not inherent to the immediate story and casting aside all effort of "kid-friendly" in favor of telling a gritty, down to earth war story, pulling from dark explorations of human desperation and valor like Paths of Glory, Platoon and Apocalypse Now. Pretty hefty ambition for the series, and it pulls it off brilliantly.

The reason for the extended run time is in part to treat us to the most brilliantly realized battle sequences in the entire saga thus far, where lighting and camera angle are treated with attention and care, crafting a brilliant ambience, some amazing POV shots that drop you right in that action, and an impressive sound design that captures both the scope of the battle and the intimacy of a single soldier striving for survival. Battle sequences like this are scattered throughout the story arc, and I don't intend to harp on them so each time one occurs, but so much care and detail went into these exquisitely cinematic sequences that I'd be remiss not to pay them their due attention.

Anakin is forced to return to Corruscant and a different Jedi, General Krell, is left in charge of the 501st. Krill, its clear, loathes clones, and feels them all inferior to himself. His arrogance, though, is masked in just enough authoritative reverence to by-the-book commanding that a fair amount of the troopers are willing to accept the change in leadership style and fall in, though Fives makes his trepidation clear from the start. Charged with taking the capital of Umbarra, Krell demands the troops attack in a full frontal assault from the main road, though Commander Rex suggest an alternate strategy more likely to succeed with far less casualties. Krill ignores Rex's plea, and the troops follow orders, marching to their death until Rex finally orders a retreat, which earns him chastisement from Krell for his cowardice. Fives comes to Rex's defense, and eventually Krell leaves the matter lie.

Obi-Wan contacts Krell and advises him to assault an airbase located close to the capital in order to put a strain on the Umbarran's supplies, and while once again Rex suggests a strategy that would produce less casualties, Krell once again orders a full frontal assault, an order that this time divides the troops, with Fives the champion of the dissenters. Though they all follow orders initially, with three squads commanded by Rex, Fives and Hardcase (who also opposes Krell's reckless strategies), after an almost undefinable wave of caterpillar and spider tanks, Rex concedes the endeavor hopeless and presents an alternate plan to Krell where Fives and Hardcase would sneak into the airbase and steal some of their ships. Krill rejects the plan, but Rex commands the two to do it anyway after Krell also refuses Rex any reinforcements or permission to retreat. Fives and Hardcase succeed in their mission, and utilize the ships to wipe out the forces opposing Rex's squads. Krill confronts the trio about disobeying orders, and disregards the loss of life suffered as a casualty of victory, planting even deeper the seeds of dissension within the three.

The third episode is where the dramatic elements outweigh the action, the characters become even more three dimensional and honest, and the tension becomes more palpable than most animated shows can muster. After being informed that the Umbarrans are now receiving supplies from a heavily guarded ship orbiting the planet, Krell once more demands a full frontal assault. The troops argue amongst themselves, with a trepidatious Rex and a fiercely loyal to Krell Dogma arguing for the virtue of chain of command, while Fives and Jesse counter that whatever military acumen Krell possesses, its clouded by his own arrogance. Eventually, Fives proposes an alternate strategy, which Rex brings to Krells attention, ultimately for it to be shot down like the others. However, Fives, Jesse and Hardcase are determined to see it through, and plan to test their skill at piloting the Umbarran ships. Their plan is to fly the Umbarran ships to the orbiting supply craft, utilizing security codes in the crafts to bypass security and destroy the supply ship from the inside, but their "test flight" is so disastrous it alerts Rex to their plan, and the captain is forced to lie for Fives to prevent a curious Krell as to why the hanger in which the ships are help has been destroyed. Krill then orders the ships to be locked down as a "safety precaution", but Fives is determined to see the plan through. Feeling he owes Rex the respect to come clean, Fives tells them of their plan, but rather than order them to stop, a hurt and torn Rex tells them "I can't help you when you get caught" in a line delivery thats imbued with so much mixed emotion and conflict it stands out as the single best piece of acting thus far.

The group being their mission, but Dogma and Tup become wise to the plan and intend to tip off Krell. Rex intercepts them and prevents them from doing so, but Krell finds Rex and inquires as to why the ships that were meant to be locked down were launched, which Rex explains as a reconnaissance mission. Meanwhile, the group have successfully boarded the ship, but after being spotted by a battle droid, their initial plan falls apart, forcing Hardcase to improvise by carrying a missile by hand to the ship's reactor, sacrificing himself for the sake of the mission. When they return, Rex is thrilled with their victory, but Krell demands to see the three of them. Rex immediately tries to take the fall for Fives and Jesse, and Fives endeavors to do the same, but Krell disregards them all, commanding that the two rogue troopers will be court-martialed, found guilty, and executed for their crimes.

Rex later tries to appeal the execution, but Krell declines, stating their rebellion could lead to more if not dealt with. Dogma stands the two convicted troopers before the firing squad, but Fives loudly makes an appeal to them, reminding them that as soldiers, they aren't just expected to carry out orders but to think for themselves; and the clones demonstrate just that as they intentionally miss their ordered shots and refuse to fire anymore. Rex commands that the two be released, and before Krell can chastise him for disobeying orders, a call comes in warning of Umbarran forces who have donned clone armor, and Krell orders a preemptive strike. In a battle sequence thats as beautiful as the ones described above and as chaotic as the best D-Day scenes, its a slaughter on both sides until Rex finds an "enemy" corpse and discovers a clone inside. Frantically, he runs across the battlefield, commanding every trooper to take off their helmets; the "enemy"was really the 212th Attack Battalion, another clone force operating under the same orders, believing Rex's company to be Umbarrans in disguise. Fed up, Rex decides they must arrest Krell under the charge of treachery, and we get a gorgeously lit and wordless sequence of ominous intensity: troopers, backlit in bluish-green, marching back towards the base with quiet rage. Fives and Jesse being handed blasters with but a nod, all understanding what must be done. Its so tense, so expertly crafted, you really do believe they might kill. That they might not just mutiny, but indeed massacre the reckless Jedi. Its as though whispers of "the horror, the horror" can be heard blended in the score. They confront Krell, who flees, and they give chase, stopped only by Dogma, armed with a blaster, calling the arresting troops traitors until he's finally talked down and apprehended himself. After imprisoning Dogma, the group once more pursue Krell, eventually utilizing a local carnivorous plant to ensnare and stun him. Once imprisoned, the group discuss how to move forward after interrogation reveals Krell has abandoned his Jedi ways after foreseeing a new order overtaking the galaxy. Though Obi-Wan's troops have overtaken the capital, it appears the rest of the Umbarrans are headed for the airbase, and the troops know they're doomed if Krell gets loose, as he knows too much about the Republic and its strategies. Knowing what must be done, Rex returns with Fives to the prisoners, releasing Dogma and commanding Krell to face and wall on his knees (at which point we all go "Holy shit, are the good guys about to murder a man in cold blood execution style on the same channel that runs Bugs Bunny cartoons?"). Krill taunts him for his hesitation, before being cut off mid-sentence by a ****ing blaster shot through the back from Dogma, who stole Fives' blaster, because yes, yes we did just see someone get murdered in cold blood execution style. because this show goes hard. Obi-Wan secures the remainder of the planet, and it seems everything is safe, but Fives and Rex seem shaken by the events, and are left questioning for what reason the war even started, and where their place in the world will be when it ends.

Brilliant writing, beautiful animation, and one of the most harrowing and honest stories about the horrors of war this show or any show has ever done.

Following that, we're treated to another expansive arc, if admittedly perhaps an episode too long, that digs deep into the emotional well of our balance-bringing protagonist. Kidnapped, Slaves of the Republic and Escape from Kadavo finds Obi-Wan, Anakin and Ahsoka attempting to free a pacifist planet from the clutches of slavers. The episode's storyline itself isn't anything to write home about, but their are some great character and thematic moments, like when the slaver queen explains that Jedi are themselves a type of slave, since they've "forsaken their ideals in order to serve a corrupt Republic" (and she's not wrong). It's also peppered with Anakin's smoldering rage, tipping ever closer to the dark side, as he force-chokes the Queen and fiercely battles Count Dooku armed only with a laser whip. In the end, everything resolves itself, like it always does, with the once-pacifist planning even considering joining the Republic. It's a truly enjoyable arc that admittedly loses steam in its final act, but is worth watching if just for the little moments of character, especially seeing Anakin finally start to give in to his hate as we know he's destined to do.

We're then treated to a one-off, and a surprisingly endearing one at that. Ashoka accompanies Padme to a meeting between the Separatists and the Republic on the supposedly neutral planet of Mandalore (even though the Republic and the Jedi have intervened there a s**t ton, so I'm not sure how neutral it really is). This meeting is disrupted by Lux Bonteri, who Ahsoka first met in Season 3's Heroes on Both Sides, and now finds him to be A Friend In Need (see what I did there?) when he declares his mother had been killed by Separatists, and is dragged away by security. Fearing for his safety, Padme grants Ahsoka permission to stealthily follow him (accompanied by R2-D2), and after Lux is sentenced to death for treason by a hologram Dooku, Ahsoka swoops in to rescue him. She offers to take him to safety on a Republic world, but Lux instead holds her at gunpoint and forces them both deliberately into the clutches of the nefarious Death Watch (one of whom is voiced by Katee "Starbuck" Sackhoff). Lux traced the coordinates of Dooku's hologram, and intends to use the death Watch to kill him. Ahsoka knows the Death Watch are evil, and will turn on Lux, and she tries to get him to see the light, which he does eventually, in this case the light being a fire. Oh yeah, the Death Watch burn an entire village to the ground, and burn its citizens alive, simply for saying "Hey, could you maybe give us our daughters back instead of keeping them as vague implied sex slaves?". You know, because re-introducing us to the Death Watch by showing them using droids are target practice while the droids scream "Why?" as they're dismembered wasn't disquieting enough. Those droids come into play again, though, as R2, being commissioned by the Death Watch to repair the droids so that they may be used for target practice again (and being crept upon by those droids calling out for healing like Luke 17:11, and by that I mean the biblical Luke, not the future son of the absent-from-this-episode Anakin), he instead gets them to unite against the Death Watch, giving Ahsoka, Lux and R2 enough time to flee. They get back to the ship and take off, but Lux runs to an escape pod, refusing once more to align with the Republic, because Lux refuses to join either side in the conflict, remaining independent but not neutral, assuring Ahsoka they will meet again (where, judging by his political stances, he'll bore her with a diatribe about his "libertarian views" and how everyone else are just "sheeple"). She puts her hand to the glass as the escape pod flies off, and suddenly it dawns on you that Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka all have found love while in the Jedi order, and are made indeed more emotional being deprived of it than they would have been had they just pursued their desires. Man, the Jedi code is flawed. It's as though Clone Wars exists just to go "Yeah, this whole Jedi Order and Republic thing...these needed to go".

So, this next arc (Deception/Friends and Enemies/The Box/Crisis on Naboo) is awesome. There's no other way of putting it. From a clever premise to brilliant set-pieces to their most obscure homage yet, it packs a hell of a punch, and I'll provide simply a brief overview rather than dig into it and risk dissecting the magic. Right off the bat, Obi-Wan is shot and killed by a sniper. From there, we see Anakin grieving at this master's funeral, as Mace Windu and Yoda conduct a private meeting with...Obi-Wan??!?! Who saw that coming? Ok, we all did, because we knew Obi-Wan had to live a long enough life to make Alec Guinness miserable. Turns out Obi-Wan is going to go undercover as the sniper who the Jedi Council themselves hired, utilizing a facial morph and a voice changer that both cause him such great discomfort you feel like its a Cronenberg movie, to uncover a plot to kill Chancellor Palpatine from within a prison. So, yeah, this is amazing already.

In disguise, Obi-Wan lands in jail under the pretense he "killed Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi", and after besting the imprisoned Bosk in a fight because an also imprisoned Boba Fett claims he'd "stolen one of his bounties", Moralo Eval (the laziest named scoundrel since Halle Burtoni) gets him as a cell mate. Obi-Wan is stunned, however, to discover their cell is a trio, as Cad Bane has also gotten himself deliberately caught in order to break Eval out of prison. Inciting a riot, the three flee, and after obtaining weapons and a ship, two acts of betrayal, and a scuffle with Anakin and Ahsoka, they make their way off the planet and assemble with several other bounty hunters for what Eval and Count Dooku decide are "tryouts", by showing them The Box.

Brief time out here, since I'm about to go for a bit of a cinematic deep cut: I love Cube. I'm sure some younglings tuning into this episode would think its a vague reference to Saw or something (you know, cause kids love the Saw movies) but its based in something so much better, I assure you. Cube is a Canadian indie sci-fi/horror movie about a group of people trapped in a large cube, whose interior is a series of different cubes, identical save for their color, interconnected by portholes, and each containing a different trap. It's not the most well acted, nor the most well written. It was made in 1997, and looks like it came out in 1981. But all that can't drag it down. It's spellbinding, and so is this episode, as it does very little alteration to its inspiration, merely adapting it to fit the characters and series tone. Eventually, Dooku and Eval became wary of the way Rako Hardeen (Obi-Wan's disguise) keeps saving the other contenders and mastering the traps, and eventually, in the final challenge, Eval even tries to plunge Obi-Wan to his death, but Cad Bane catches him, snarling that Eval if he's going to kill him "do it like a man", because Cad Bane is insanely cool. Dock concurs, and Obi-Wan and Eval battle until Obi-Wan has a shot at a fatal blow, refusing because "he just wants his money" (reminder: he saved a bunch of bounty hunters this episode. Innocent people are most definitely going to die because of this). Dock, disappointed in Eval, makes Bane the leader of the operation.

The team on Corruscant, but Obi-Wan has been able to warn the Jedi and Republic and ensure Palpatine's safety (even though there's no stakes to this operation, we the viewer know, since Palpatine can't be killed, considering his running both sides and likely ordering the operation himself). Bane and Eval get away with the unconscious Palpatine, knocked out from the missed shot, but Obi-Wan tracks them to the render-vouz point. The captors, however, are stunned to find Dooku absent. Obi-Wan prevents the other two from killing Palpatine, and the Jedi eventually arrive to arrest them and return him home. Its here that Anakin finally discovers his master is still alive, and argues with Obi-Wan that if the Jedi Council could lie about this, what else are they lying about. Palatine argues he no longer needs so great a security detail, that he's fine with just Skywalker, and we soon see why: Anakin leads Palpatine to a meeting chamber only to find Dooku there. The two battle (and there's a glorious shot of Palpatine grinning as he watches the two spar) before Obi-Wan intervenes and the two chase Dooku to his ship, which he leaps into and flees.

Overall, this arc was perhaps the best of the entire series, second maybe only to the Father/Son/Daughter one last season. The writing is sharp (Eval abandoning Obi-Wan with a flippant "And also, he despises you" is the most Star Wars-like piece of dialogue thus far in the series), the set pieces are brilliant (the myriad of traps in The Box are thrilling), the humor is strong (The Parwan's reaction when Obi-Wan explains his expertise in Parwan anatomy is "I used to kill Parwans for a living" actually merited a full laugh), and we really get to see Anakin begin to turn his back on the Jedi order. This is definitely the highlight arc of the series, though what follows does give it a bit of a run for its money.

The final four episodes aren't an arc so much as a series of stories connected by a single thread. Massacre features a return of the Nightsisters, to whom an alienated Asajj Ventress appeals for acceptance. They magically baptize her just in time for Genral Grievous to arrive at the instruction of Dooku, and a titanic battle between machine and magic occurs, with Talzin calling on the tribe elder, Daka, to revive every dead Nightsister on the planet, because zombies now exist in the Star Wars universe, and I'm so on board. Unfortunately, the battle ends in a titular massacre after Grievous slays Daka, ending the resurrection magic, and the droid army apparently wise out every Nightsister besides Ventress and Talzin, who appears to Ventress in a vision encouraging her to move on. It's Ventress' tragic tale we follow into the next episode (and for my part gladly, as her storyline is the most interesting of the series by far).

In Bounty, Ventress falls in with a group of bounty hunters led by Boba Fett (and containing a female bounty hunter named Latts Razzi who she has a palpable romantic tension with). They undertake a mission to deliver a piece of cargo to a wealthy crime lord after it has been stolen, but that cargo is revealed to be a young girl, intended to be a child-bride. Ventress has a bit of a dilemma on her hands, and realizes she's no longer the wicked sith she had once been, so collects her bounty from the crime lord, but turns over a bound Boba Fett in the container meant to carry the child bride, and instead turns the girl over to her family. Though, just in case you thought she'd completely turned herself around, she collected a ransom from them as well.

The next time we see Ventress, in Brothers, she's sitting in a bar with Razzi (meaning I wasn't reading too deep into those glances last episode). A group of bounty hunters are checking out the list of open bounties, and they stop on an intriguing offer, which Ventress says she'll undertake personally. The name? Savage Opress.

Opress is on his mission from Mother Talzin, arriving on Lotho Minor in search of his brother, Darth Maul. The planet's design is something to behold, complete with Mad Max-esque masked figures, metal fire breathing dragons, and a snake-like guide who functions as the sinister mirror image of The Worm from Labyrinth. The snake eventually leads Savage into a trap, claiming when his master has devoured Opress, he'll be back to eat the leftovers. Savage makes his way through the underground tunnels, haunted by the clinking of metal on stone until the creature stalking him reveals itself. Savage battles what appear to be a large mechanical spider until he lures the creature into the light, and he sees, as we see, the most disturbing image in the entire series: an atrophied and incongruously rambling Maul torso atop mechanical spider legs. Press finally gets Maul to reveal his deep desire for revenge against the Jedi who nearly killed him, and Opress offers to help his kin seek revenge. All of this creates a great disturbance in the force, one sense by Anakin, Asajj and Yoda, the last of which decides he must reveal to Obi-Wan that the slayer of his master has returned.

In the series finale, Revenge, Savage and Maul return to Dathomir to seek out Mother Talzin, who uses her magic to create new robotic legs for Maul and fix his mind, restoring his sanity. The two then head for the planet of Raydonia, finding a group of children. When Opress asks why, Maul tells him the only way to get the Jedi's attention is a slaughter. They send a filmed message of their mass execution, demanding Obi-Wan come to them alone or more will die, and despite Mace Windu's insistence of reinforcements, Obi-Wan complies. Meanwhile, Asajj decides to pursue the bounty, leading both her and the Jedi to Raydonia. When Obi-Wan arrives, he's immediately set upon by the brothers, and knocked unconscious, but before they can torture him, Asajj distracts them and runs off, forcing the two to give chase. Asajj outruns them and returns to Obi-Wan reviving him and giving him one of her sabers, and the two engage in such brilliantly Beatrice and Benedict dialogue that you almost wish they called the episode "It Happened One Night In A Galaxy Far, Far Away". There's an amazing four person, all red lightsaber duel, and feeling outmatched, they ditch the cockpit of the ship they're on board, stranding the brothers in space and barely escaping with their lives. Maul, however, is undeterred, assured that he will encounter the jedi and echoing his sentiment from Episode I that at last, he will have revenge.

So, overall, setting aside a slow opening, Season 4: Battle Lines is well worth watching, even if the subtitle doesn't make as much sense as the last two did. Next week, we're taking on the last episode to air on cable television, The Clone Wars Season 5. Check back then, and in the mean time, feel free to weigh in in the comments.

Star Wars The Clone Wars: Season 3

First time here? Get caught up with the mission statement, Episode I, Episode II, the Clone Wars movie, the first season of the show and the second.

So what can we say about Season 3 from the outset? Well, if we were charting quality, S1 would look like a mountain range, S2 would be a steady incline (save one episode), and this season? Well, the incline is much more gradual, but solely because its reached a level of quality and maturity that successfully honors and at times surpasses the franchise its a component of. Of course, near the end of the season, there's some movement, as there's a swift swing upward, and then a steep, steep decline, but we'll get to all that in due time.

Overall, the first thing to note is just how dark this show is willing to go. For two seasons, we've been enjoying a show at times too dark for mere children's entertainment, yes, leaning towards straight-up drama. But this? Right from the get-go feelings were felt, tears may have been shed, and we witnessed an arc so unique and enthralling I for one immediately wanted to rewatch it. The subtitle of the season is "Secrets Revealed", and it really is filled with revelations both great and small, inconsequential and groundbreaking, tragic and prophetic; and it all stars with episode one, and with a bang.

Remember those troopers we met in Rookies? Cutup, Hevy, Echo, Droidbait and Fives? Well, get ready to see their origin in Clone Cadets. Decked out in training uniforms but proving to be anything but uniform in their tactics, the so-called Domino Squad fail a practice test miserably under the watchful eye of their instructor Bric, a bounty hunter hired by the Republic who states he only cares about getting paid, which is just one more bullet point in my ever growing list of why the Republic really deserved to lose this war. While Jedi master Shaak-Ti and fellow bounty hunter El-Les convince Bric to give the recruits another chance, he suggest they'd be better suited in the maintenance division with someone called 99, presumably another clone who failed the test.

You would presume that its a clone that failed, because you probably still think of the Republic as the "good guys". But you would be wrong. Oh so wrong. You see, after Domino Squad fails their test, in the privacy of the locker room, El-Les tries to convince Bric to let them retake it, while Bric once more expresses his doubts, except this time 99 himself is there to hear it. Except 99 isn't in maintenance because he failed the test. He never even got a chance to take the test. 99 came from a bad batch, or was perhaps simply a one-off glitch. Whatever the cause, he doesn't match his clone brethren. He's deformed; a wrinkled face, a hunched back, and likely a non-existent sense of self-worth after being ruthlessly relegated to being the ****ing piss boy of the Republic army. I mean, Cut Lawquane can whine all he wants about being forced to fight, being given only one option for his life, but 99 doesn't even get that. He's robbed even of the artificial purpose. I mean, just look at that sad little bastard.

So, obviously, **** the Republic. But not the troops, they're good dudes, even if Bric doesn't see it. In fact, we learn that Bric is a bit of a dick. You see, after Fives and Echo (the latter of which received his nickname for constantly repeating people on the simulation battlefield) convince Shaak-Ti to let them retake the test, Bric confronts another member of Domino squad, the wise-ass of the group, in a hangar and tries to god him into attacking, in order to get the trooper and his squad dismissed, but the trooper won't take any of it seriously, even embracing Bric's snide description of him as a "cut up" to heart, claiming it as his nickname. Meanwhile, Hevy attempts to flee the base altogether, but is stopped by 99, who delivers a passionate and somewhat moving (to both Hevy and maybe the viewer...ok, at least me) speech about having brothers, having a purpose and when asked why he continues to call him "Hevy" when he's just known by a numeric code like the rest, 99 tells him "To me, you've always had a name" and your heart breaks at this sad puppy of a trooper.

Well, Hevy takes the advice to heart and leads his squad to victory, even after its revealed that Bric actually stole the ropes needed to climb to the top of the course because he's a dick, and Shaak-Ti allows it because she's also kind of a dick, and the Republic doesn't fire Bric over this because they're all dicks, and 99 remains a saint among monsters. After the men are awarded their medals for passing the test, Hevy makes sure to find 99 before leaving to thank him for his advice. 99 is saddened to see him go, but Hevy assures him he'll return, handing 99 his medal and saying he has to come back for it. 99 is touched, and finally feels like he has brothers, Hevy is touched that someone believed in him, and we the viewer are touched to see these clones exhibit the most humanity of anyone in the series.

The credits roll, and you almost wanna go back and rewatch Rookies to see what happens next with Domino Squad. I think...I think one of them died, right? Which one was it? Was it...no...no no no....no....

After intercepting a transmission between General Grievous and Asajj Ventress about an intended attack on Kamino, Anakin and Obi-Wan travel to the planet with Rex, Cody, Broadside, Echo and Fives. Echo and Fives reminisce in the hallway when 99 hobbles up to them (because he hobbles, because they just want to break my heart with the ****ing hobbling and the sad eyes) and he greets the two clones, eager to find Hevy and return the medal, which he promptly shows them, forcing the two to reveal Hevy's fate, which clearly brings a hurt to 99's eyes. Spoiler alert: This is not the only time ARC Troopers is going to shatter your soul with sadness.

The assault on Kamino begins and Anakin takes to the skies to combat the Separatists with seemingly great success as a torrent of debris falls into the water. Obi-Wan is suspicious, and his suspicion is soon proven correct as its revealed that Ventress has used the debris as an opportunity to sneak into the base fro below with a droid army, and she's soon joined by General Grievous as their troops storm the facility to destroy all in their path while the Sith apprentice hunts down the DNA sample of Jango Fett from which the clones are made.

Obi-Wan ends up facing off against Grievous, and Anakin facing off against Ventress, and obviously there's no victor or loser in the fights, so really there's no need to go over it (I'll admit there's a pretty boss moment where Ventress uses the force to pull a guy into her lightsaber blade and then kisses him, though). At the end of the day, this episode is about one guy, one wonderful, caring, hobbling little trooper. After helping Fives and Echo fight off some droids by bringing them weapons, the trio take it upon themselves to get a group of young clones to the barracks for safety, and 99 equips them all from the armory, encouraging them that though they're inexperienced, they can fight back. When a group of droids infiltrates the barracks, that's just what they do, and when they run out of ammo, 99 valiantly offers to get more. The two eldest troopers try to dissuade him from risking his life, but he insists he's a soldier, and even though he's gunned down as he hobbles with an armload of supplies, the glimmer in his eyes seems to have never shined brighter. He was, at last, a soldier. Victory is secured for the facility, and Fives and Echo are promoted to ARC troopers. But its a bittersweet victory, as they remember those they lost, both now and in the past.

So, remember the very start of this series, the first episode, Ambush? Bet you didn't expect there'd be a prequel to that, but you would be wrong. Remember the planet of Ryloth from that overly long story arc in season 1? Did you know we'd get a prequel to that too? And did you know that this prequel, while very entertaining, is so non-substantive that I'd have to stretch to fill a whole paragraph about it? Look, Supply Lines is an engaging enough episode where Senator Organa has to persuade the Toydarians to help them get supplies to Ryloth, which is currently under attack. He's accompanied by Representative Binks (Ahmet Best is back!) and has to argue against representatives of the Trade Federation, both trying to sway Toydaria out of its neutrality. In the end, the king agrees to turn a blind eye if Organa wants to use Toydaria as a midway point to deliver supplies to Ryloth, and Jar Jar performs an "art piece" to distract the Federation representatives while the ships fly past the window. There's also a Jedi defending Ryloth who dies both before the supplies get there and before the audience has gotten enough attached to him to care he died.

Just like Supply Lines, Sphere of Influence is a lot more fun to watch than to describe. Baron Papapnoida (who in the live action films is played by George Lucas, and in the "Legends" universe is a playwright) attempts, with Riyo Chuchi (who you'll remember from that "eh" episode in season 1), to seek Senate help with a blockade the Trade Federation has set up around their planet of Pantora (a planet populate by blue humanoids because **** you James Cameron). The Separatists respond to this pushback by sending Greedo (who, if you're watching this all for the first time along with this blog, means nothing. Otherwise...holy s**t you guys, its ****ing Greedo) to kidnap his daughters, one of whom uses a religious statue as a weapon, resulting in the kidnappers placing it on a table instead of on the mantle, which tips Paranoid off that she's been kidnapped. While the Jedi council intervenes, Anakin imposes his sage "**** the council" advice to Ahsoka, who goes with Chuchi to try and rescue one daughter from the blockade fleet, Baron Papanoida goes full Taken on the denizens of a Mos Eisley bar, straight up murdering everybody except Greedo himself and rescuing his kid. There's some cool moments of Ahsoka's force powers, but the long and the short of it is they rescue the other daughter and end the blockade in an ending that feels a bit rushed and anti-climactic. That said, seeing cartoon George Lucas dual-weilding guns is as badass as Papanoida having two daughters and a son to correspond with that at the time was the number and genders of George Lucas' kids (at the time)) is adorable.

Next up is two episodes set on Mandalore. Corruption plays like a weird homage to Season 2 of The Wire as Padme and Satine uncover corruption in their shipping industry. It's kind of a set-up episode, as they debate whether the Death Watch is behind the smuggling, and in a surprise to no one, they're not. They discover the warehouse where the smuggled toxins are located, Satine demands they burn it to the ground and implores a departing Padme to send a Jedi who can investigate further into this conspiracy.

That's how we end up at The Academy, where Ahsoka has arrived on Mandalore in order to "teach", though really, she's there to look into the source of the corruption. "Corruption", by the way, is a word Ahsoka apparently needs to teach teenaged students at the Jedi academy on Mandalore, because I guess that word hasn't come up in their diplomatic/warrior education where people being literally corrupted by the dark side of the force is a very real thing. Sure, we'll go with it. Inspired by Ahsoka's speech, these kids go out on a night time investigation into the rationed food supplies on Mandalore and stumble upon a group of Gotals, Mandalorians and a hooded figure all discussing something so blatantly nefariously that even these semi-Amblin innocents recognize it. The dubious group is alerted to the presence o the kids, but thankfully (for their sake, not the viewers) they get away. They bring the info to Satine, who urges caution and patience, advising them that they are too young to take on the task, so of course they decide to ignore her (and Ahsoka, who later appeals to them to e patient as well) and reach out to the prime minister, who orders their arrest. Ashoka, however, must have guessed these kids would ignore her and arrives to rescue them from the arresting officers, only to discover Satine has been kidnapped. After studying video from the warehouse and realizing the prime minister was the hooded figure, Ahsoka devises a plan to "arrest" the kids in order to infiltrate the prison, which seemingly works. She even Jedi mind tricks one guard into taking her to the imprisoned Satine, but doesn't notice that a second guard who has;t been mind tricked also follows her, because apparently peripheral vision is a talent only Sith possess? Anyway, long story short, it was a trap, but Ahsoka and the kids manage to fight back and save the day, as you knew they would. The prime minister is arrested, Satine is freed, and Ahsoka leaves Mandalore. Day saved. Sure, does this two-parter teeter on the Amblin? Yeah. Is it predictable? Yeah. But at least you get some good Ahsoka moments (ok, beyond the not noticing second guard). The same, unfortunately, cannot be said for the next episode.

I'm gonna be honest, when writing my introductory paragraph, I declare this season a steady incline to a point, but I'd forgotten about this pointless, illogical, all around "eh" episode. So, here's the deal with Assassin: Padme has to make a big speech, Ahsoka (ad nauseum) gets visions of the future concerning an assassination attempt on Padme's life during this speech. At firs they don't believe her, then they do, and take precautions like first trying to secure the room Padme's speaking in (but the assassin, Aurra Sing, manages to get off a shot anyway), then using a robot in a hooded robe to stand in for Padme while she hides in her room (which Aurra gets to and attempts to kill her again before Ahsoka intervenes). Now obviously Padme doesn't die in the episode, suspense kinda doesn't exist for  it, leading us instead to ponder the strange choices they make. I mean, if there's a threat on her life, why don't you go straight to a hologram? You can't shoot a hologram, and its not like the technology isn't in ample supply of Coruscant. I mean, the fact that Padme puts her life on the line when she, even as a senator, had been using decoys (and not robots, actual human decoys) for such banal tasks as disembarking a ship, and consistently proven right to do so. Did she just one day decide to stop using decoys? When was this day? Will we get a prequel episode in, like, Season 5 explaining this? I'm usually against the kind of criticism where one faults a script for its characters not choosing the best, most thought out option because we real people don't always do that. Hindsight being 20/20, decisions being made in the heat of the moment and all. I get that. But in this case, we had a character not only make less than optimal decisions, but did so well outside the typical strategy we've seen her employ thus far in the canon, making the whole episode feel a bit inauthentic.

Oh boy. Ok, I forgot about this one too. Turns out, before Hostage Crisis in season 1, Cad Bane needed the schematics of the senate building in order to carry out his Evil Plans, so he kidnaps C-3PO (and subsequently R2-D2), who are out on a supply run for a special fruit to top a dessert for a dinner Padme's throwing in honor of Senator Aang. Bane manages to ensnare the droids by making them think they're going to a "droid day spa" which is just....eugh. After finding 3PO has nothing useful, and getting the schematics off of R2, he wipes their memories so no one will ever remember this happened which is....eeeuuuuggghhhh. When the most memorable thing about your episode is the sheer dickishness of Senator Aang preemptively toasting to his cake, you done goofed.

In the events following Hostage Crisis, we discover Jabba the Hutt and the Hutt council had hired Bane to "rescue" Ziro solely that they might imprison him themselves. This rogue individual, you see, has a file full of their organization's secrets, and they need to secure him in order to ensure the safety of the information, but it turns out he intended to get captured and already has an escape planned (this episode was apparently later remade as a hit film). While imprisoned, Ziro's girlfriend Sy Snootels busts him out and they hit the road together like Bonnie & Clyde if instead of Warren Beatty they'd cast Rip Taylor. Cad Bane is sent on the Hunt for Ziro, while the Jedi Council sends Obi-Wan and a new, more edgy, cool jedi named Quinlan Vos (basically just imagine if there'd been a Star Wars comic back in the time of X-Force and the clone Superboy, picture what Jedi they would have made up for that, take out the skateboard he obviously would have had, and there you go) to track down Ziro as well. After a detour to Jabba's palace and Ziro's mother, whose name is Mama the Hutt, they finally track Ziro down on Teth, but not before Sy, to whom Ziro has revealed the location of his diary containing all the Hutt secrets, murders him in cold blood and escapes with the intel (by the way, when I say murders, I mean shoots in the chest in a full and glorious wide-shot where you even see his burned flesh upon impact, so good looking getting the kids to bed after that). We're treated to a fabulously Western quote when Bane discovers the body ("I hate it when someone does my job") and a gloriously Star Wars-y bit of banter as Obi-Wan and Quinlan hang from a ledge ("I never did enjoy hanging out with you") as the trio duke it out. Bane escapes, of course, and we end with Sy delivering the information to her true employer, who naturally is Jabba the Hutt.

Season 3, as I've stated above, is full of episodes that are much better viewed than explained. On the surface, Heroes on Both Sides is a very simple story of Padme and Ahsoka sneaking across enemy lines to appeal to a Separatist friend of Amidala's, with both appealing to their respective factions for peace, until the double-dealing Palpatine (through his Sith channels) has the Separatist ally killed. In the end, the only real change that happens that impacts the war is the Banking Clan being deregulated in order to better finance the war, but this episode isn't a story so much as a meditation. For the kids viewing, and even some adults, its hard to understand, really, that there really are heroes on both sides. In the fog of war, lines are drawn not just on the battlefield but in our minds, and Ahsoka is our Alice, who falls down the rabbit hole into enemy lines, meeting a young counterpart she can't quite conceive of as a Separatist, since he's not the bloodthirsty warmonger she'd always cast them as in her mind. While at its core, the Clone Wars are merely a ruse to amass power for Palpatine, those fighting the war re truly just at ideological odds, and there's validity to both sides' claims. This episode, and indeed this whole season, show a great shift in the motivations of the three main characters: Padme becomes a crusader not for Republic victory, but merely an end to the war, and both Ahsoka and Anakin become disillusioned, Ahsoka in the cause, and Anakin in the Jedi Order. These slight drifts now will likely become seismic shifts in the seasons and films to come, shaping the fate of the entire galaxy; and all it took was a little change in perspective.

Pursuit of Peace is definitely an atmosphere episode. The plot is minimal yet labyrinthine to describe in detail, but essentially Padme, Bail Organa and Onaconda Farr's efforts to curb military spending raw the ire of the Banking Clan (who they discover are gorging prices for the Republic while also funding Separatist ships) and thereby Count Dooku, who sends two thugs to attack Farr, then Padme, the Organa, none of whom decide to back down and eventually, with the help of Padme's handmaiden providing a plebeian perspective, persuade the entire Senate that the rampant wartime spending is bad. There's some great set-pieces in this episode, and a thrilling speeder bike chase. The neon city of Coruscant provides a great backdrop for the intrigue and action. Sure, it's not the high point of the series (but don't worry, that's coming) but its definitely an enjoyable episode in its own right.

Ok, so...ho-ly s**t does this show go off the ****ing chain at this point, in the most glorious way. The first of two epic trilogies, the Nightsister/Monster/Witches of the Mist storyline is hands down the best thing the show has done so far, expanding the Star Wars mythos, drawing from the Expanded Universe (now dubbed Legends) and recalling past iconic figures, this has it all.

Darth Sidious, fearing Asajj Ventress has grown to powerful, commands Count Dooku to cut his apprentice loose, which he does by abandoning Ventress in her wrecked ship (damaged in a firefight with Anakin and Obi-Wan) and ordering his own pilots to attack the wreckage, seemingly ensuring her demise. Of course, cunning as she is, she escapes. Rescued by a salvage crew who intend to ransom her, she slaughters the bunch and flies their ship to the planet Dathomir, lorded over by the powerful Nightsisters (the clan from which Ventress originally hails), the leader of which offers to heal Ventress while inducing a dreamlike state that evokes images of Ventress' past (a clever device allowing us to see her Jedi origins without bogging down the plot with afull narrative of it). She awakens healed and swearing revenge, which the head Nightsister, Talzin, agrees to help with, supplying Ventress with two assassins and some invisibility potions which turn the three into some kind of mist ninja (because this is now Game of Thrones, and I love it). Utilizing stolen Jedi sabers lest Dooku survives and traces the assailants back to Dathomir, the trio initially does overtake Dooku, but just when he seems finished, the Count unleashes a powerful attack of force lightning, ensnaring all three and forces them to flee. Though the mission seems a failure, Talzin sees another opportunity and contacts Dooku. After the attempt on his life, Dooku desperately seeks a new apprentice to guard him, and Talzin offers him a Zabrak warrior from her planet, and Dooku accepts.

When Dooku arrives on Dathomir, Talzin encourages him to consider a Zabrak warrior after evoking the memory of Darth Maul. Dock consents and even proposes an alliance with Talzion, which she rejects. Upon Dooku's departure, Ventress heads to the other side of Dathomir in order to submit the Zabrak males to a series of trials, whittling them down until she's found a warrior to her satisfaction. These tests are a visual delight, from straight combat against the agile Ventress to an evasive defense against Ventress in the shadows to a labyrinthine maze navigation which narrows the plethora of warriors down to two, the timid Feral and his protective older brother Savage Opress. Ventures attempts to kill the frightened Feral when Savage jumps to his aid, offering himself to her instead. She defeats Savage but spares his life, seeing enough in him to select him as their operative. Back amongst the Nightsister, Savage is possessed, granted greater strength and power, but becoming more animalistic (reminiscent of the silent, brooding Maul in Phantom Menace, successfully justifying the regal yet beastly posturing during Qui-Gon's meditation in the film's final battle). His submission to Ventress is proven when he kills his brother on command, and he's sent on a mission to prove his worth to Dooku, where he slaughters an entire Jedi Temple on the planet Devaron, earning Dooku's trust and admiration. Dooku takes Savage into his chambers (to the satisfaction of the Nightsisters, aware they now have a sleeper agent within Dooku's inner-sanctum) and expounds to him the power of the dark side, and his goal of building up both his own power and that of his new apprentice in order to overthrow Darth Sidious.

Anakin and Obi-wan investigate the massacre at the temple, saying that since Ventress is presumed dead, this must be the work of another (which bugged me, and it may seem minor, but they're saying "presumed", as though they themselves don't fully believe it, and then upon studying the crime scene just go "Well, guess its gotta be someone else" instead of giving thought to Ventress not actually being as dead as she's presumed). When they finally uncover footage of the killer, Obi-Wan is shocked to find his appearance strikingly similar to that of Darth Maul, and is promptly sent by the council to Dathomir to investigate further. When Anakin and Obi-Wan arrive on the planet, they're immediately set upon by the Zabrak, until Anakintakes their leader hostage and they concede that Talzin is the person they seek. Upon confronting Talzin, she reveals the identity and location of Savage Opress (though she doesn't mention Ventress or their plan) and, upon their leaving, presses Ventress to enact the plan now.

Meanwhile, Count Dooku has been demonstrating the dark side of the force to Opress, having him levitate boulders and punishing him with force lightning at his failures, encouraging him to feed into the hate (at one point of canonical foreshadowing, Dooku even traps Opress in the same dual-lightsaber scissor at neck move that will later be employed by Anakin to kill the Count himself). When he feels Savage is ready, he sends him to Toydaria to kidnap King Katuunko. Savage arrives at the palace, slaughters the guards and gets to Katuunko without hinderance, but Anakin and Obi-Wan arrive on the scene, causing Opress to have to fight them back and destroy their ship while inadvertently force-snapping Katuunko's neck, killing him quite brutally (as usual for these mid-season, in full view). Before Dooku can properly punish Savage for his misdeeds, Ventress arrives, revealing not only her survival but the entire ruse, and orders Opress to attack Dooku in tandem with her. Once again, however, Ventress has underestimated Dooku's power, and he continually beats them both back. Savage's two masters continually berate him for his weakness, driving him to such a fury he abandons them both, and after squaring off with the two jedi who he'd battled before (they'd stolen a Toydarian ship to get there, and Opress then damages that one as well, leaving the viewer to imagine a scenario where they awkwardly have to ask Dooku for a lift). Eventually, Ventress too flees, and Opress seeks the comfort of mother Talzin, who advises him to seek out his brother to further train and grow his strength, and through some crystal ball we see....holy s**t, you guys. It's Darth Maul. Darth Maul is still alive lying low in some Outer Rim, and I for one can't wait to have him back (spoilers, though: we have to wait at the very least the duration of this season, cause nothing comes of that revelation in season 3).

So not only does the Overlords/Altar of Mortis/Ghosts of Mortis story arc far exceed the previous stellar storyline, it's easily the mot intense and hands down best aspect of the Star Wars mythos in the entire canon thus far (in terms of where we are in the timeline, I can't speak to every piece of the canon yet) and it's gonna be a really tough storyline to beat.

Answering a 2000 year old distress code, Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan are drawn into a strange crystalline structure which seems to contain a planet. When they disembark, after observing that the "planet" is strong with the force, they're greeted by an ethereal figure seemingly made of pure light who identifies herself as Daughter, asking Anakin is he is the chosen one, and offering to take them to Father. On the way, a boulder falls along a mountainside, cutting of Daughter and Anakin from the group. Daughter fears tis is the work of her brother, and Anakin sends the other two Jedi to send a distress signal while he carries on. The two find the ship missing and are confronted by the Son, who asks whether Anakin is the Chosen One. A storm brews, and we see all three Jedi take shelter as the Son retreats. From his cave, Anakin spots a light in a monastery and seeks it out when the storm passes, finding an old man, the Father, meditating. He explains to Anakin that he will have to endure tests on this planet to see if he is the chosen one and invites him to stay the night. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan is greeted by the ghostly visage of Qui-Gon Jinn (actually voiced by Liam Neeson in the coolest thing to happen thus far in the series because Liam Neeson) who warns him that the trials Anakin shall endure on this planet may cause him to stray from his destiny, and Ahsoka receives a vision of her future self advising her to avoid Anakin for fear t will corrupt her and drag her down with him. Back at the Monastery, Anakin is visited by a vision of his own, this one of his mother Shmi (actually voiced by Pernilla August, the original actor from the prequels, though she's actually quite good here, proving she was hampered by a bad script rather than a lack of talent) to whom Anakin confesses the source of his guilt. The vision of Shmi briefly transforms into a monster before disappearing, causing Anakin to seek out Father, who he now believes to be a Sith. He explains, however, that he and his children are neither Jedi nor Sith, but rather "Force Wielders" who through their heightened sensitivity to the force cannot stay in the material world and sought refuge within the crystal vessel, and that Anakin must endure the trial before he and his companions can leave. The trial, it turns out, is that the Son and the Daughter, each transformed into a creature, have kidnapped Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, and Anakin must choose who to save. However, drawing upon the force around him, he dominates both the Son and Daughter (clearly the personifications of the light and dark side of the force), making them both return to human form and release his friends. The Father instructs Anakin he has passed but still needs to discover himself, imploring Anakin to stay and take his place balancing the Son and Daughter. Anakin refuses, however, leaving in his ship while the familiar tune of the Imperial March plays.

As they're about to leave, Anakin is plagued by a dream of the Son asking him to come to the dark side, and upon waking, discovers the Son has indeed made his way onto the ship. The Son kidnaps Ahsoka and flies away (taking the form of some winged beast), and in their attempt to catch up with him, Anakin and Obi-Wan crash the ship before a large glowing structure. Anakin disregards Obi-wan's warnings about it being a trap and charges in, leaving Obi-Wan to seek out the Father to consult him. Meanwhile, the Son has now taken the form of a small creature who preys on Ahsoka's fears and insecurities, trying to goad her into giving in to her anger. When she refuses, he releases her from the chains that bound her and bites her arm, infecting her with the dark side as he regains his human form. The Son then seeks out his father and sister, and after Father warns him of his descent into the dark side, the Son attacks him with force lightning as Obi-Wan arrives. Over the body of the weakened father, Obi-Wan implores the Daughter to help him and Anakin defeat the Son before he brings chaos to the galaxy, but she refuses to fight him, claiming its simply his nature, conceding only to showing Obi-Wan a blade made of pure Force energy, which could be used to kill the Son. Anakin attempts to find the Son, only to discover the corrupted Ahsoka, who tells him he must join the Son or she will be killed. When Anakin refuses, she attacks him. Soon Obi-Wan joins the fray as the Daughter battles the Son before the Father arrives and easily the most insanely epic battle since the Jedi swarmed the arena on Geonosis occurs, before Ahsoka obtains the Force blade and brings it to the Son. He then exclaims Ahsoka is no longer of use to him and drains her of her life force before attempting to attack his father with the blade. The Daughter, however, dives in front of her father, sacrificing herself that he may live. Horrified at what he's done, the Son flees as Anakin runs to Ahsoka's side, desperate to help her. In her final moments, the Daughter (using Anakin as a conduit) transfers her life into Ahsoka, reviving her, as the Father commands them to leave before the Son can steal their ship and spread his darkness throughout the galaxy.

Ahsoka repairs the damaged shuttle (because apparently they just decided Ahsoka was good with ship engineering even though that's never been demonstrated thus far, while Anakin, who built pod racers and droids at 9 just chills because plot convenience) while Anakin seeks out the Father to express his doubts at stopping the Son. The Father tells him to look inside himself for the answers, a sentiment echoed when Anakin is visited by the ghost of Qui-Gon, who advises him to seek out the Well of the Dark Side. As Anakin journeys there, Obi-Wan worries and, when the Father tells him of Anakin's journey to the well, sets off after is one-time apprentice. Upon his descent, Anakin is treated to visions of his future by the Son, in a gorgeous sequence that reveals in glimmers and flickers the events of Revenge of the Sith and finally envelops Anakin in a dark cloud with a familiar helmet shape. Anguished, he agrees to join the Son if it means he can prevent the future he's seen, and once Obi-Wan arrives, he realizes its too late. Swiftly, Obi-Wan tells Ahsoka to disable the ship she's just finished repairing, which she does right before Anakin arrives. Desperate, the Son arrives at his sister's tomb to obtain the Force blade while Anakin is stranded with the failing ship. The Father seeks him out and erases his memory of all the visions of the future (though its good to know if Anakin had known what path he would take, he would do anything to change it, but then again that's a demonstration of how fear could turn him to the dark side, which is what leads him down that future path in the first place), and soon the Father and the three Jedi confront the Son. The Son proves too powerful for the three Jedi, and the Father takes the only measure that might succeed, driving the blade through himself (so Shakespearean, as are lines like "And so you have betrayed me, father". I'm telling you, guys, this was the point where I knew I was gonna rewatch this trilogy) to rob his Son of some of his power. The Son runs to his dying father as Anakin spears him with his lightsaber. In his final moments the Father tells Anakin he brough balance to the Force on that planet and will do so again. A crystal pierces the top of the monastery and a light envelops the trio, who awaken back aboard the ship, with Commander Rex calling in to check on their status, saying only a brief flicker of a moment has passed since they'd set off after the distress signal.

Everything about this trilogy is a masterwork, from the classical storytelling to the brooding visuals, and it's highly recommended. If you watch nothing else of the series, give these three episodes a view.

Oh boy. I'm gonna level with you folks, its all downhill from here, so we're gonna wrap this post up quick (after all, it's Comic Con weekend, we all have things to do). The Citadel trilogy (The Citadel/Counterattack/Citadel Rescue) is an overly long prison break story whose only redeemable highlight (besides being continually name-checked in Tarkin, a novel that bridges Episodes III and IV) is watching the relationship build between Abakin and Tarkin, both of whom acknowledge the Jedi are ineffective as a force of order in the galaxy due to their unwillingness to achieve victory, law & order by any means necessary (and they're not wrong). This trilogy is followed up by easily the most pointless arc in the series, Palawan Lost and Wookie Hunt, where a bunch of Padawan are captured (including Ahsoka) with the intent of them being hunted for sport (you know, the plot of Predators, but way more boring). Somewhere along the line, Chewbacca becomes a thing for some reason, and after a really convoluted series of events there's no point in even summarizing as it doesn't advance the general plot of the saga at all, we end on a final shot of Yoda (who has been of no consequence for the entire back half of this season) nodding to Chewbacca, who as far as he know he hasn't met yet, but I guess this was their attempt to explain why he knows him in Episode III? I don't know. It was a really awkward way to end a really awful arc that was part of a pair of really weak stories which followed up the best story the series has told thus far. So, you take the good with the bad in Season 3: Secrets Revealed. The bright side: in terms of both quantity and quality (how good is the "good vs. how bad is the "bad), the good far outweighs the bad this season.

Alright, check back next week for the last 22 episode season of Clone Wars, Battle Lines.

Star Wars The Clone Wars: Season 2

First time here? Get caught up with the mission statement, Episode I, Episode II, the Clone Wars movie and the first season of the show. Or don't. I'm a sign, not a cop.

After that stellar finale to an inconsistent Season 1, Hostage Crisis, it seems no surprise that the following season would be subtitled "Rise of the Bounty Hunters". Indeed, we were due some resolution after, if you'll recall, newly introduced badass Cad Bane, with the help of equally badass Aura Sing, sprung Ziro the Hutt from Coruscant while Anakin Die Harded his Die Hardiest to save everyone.

Or, you know, that's what a normal show would do. The Clone Wars, on the other hand, decided to craft an entire season that takes place prior to the events in Hostage Crisis. In fact, the 16th episode of this season takes place even before the movie, or any episodes of season one, even the 16th episode of season one, which technically also took place before the movie that came out before the series. In fact, Hostage Crisis doesn't even happen until halfway through Season 3, while the latter half of season two should occur in the middle of...you know what? ****it. Just **** it! I would rather down a quart of Wild Turkey and try and piece together the ****ing Zelda timeline than deal with this s**t. This is why we're doing it by season, rather than suss out it's chronology episode by episode. Because that leads to anger, and anger leads to hate, and hate leads to me just abandoning this s**t and just binging old Wrestlemanias. So let's just not, shall we?

Well, chronology aside, this was one hell of a season. I mean, I had my trepidations going in after the first season that this would be another frivolity with some flickers of fun, a trifle I muscle through for the sake of completist compulsion until I get back to the movies, but woo buddy was I glad to be wrong. I was enthralled from the first few minutes, and kept right on in clean through to the end, so let's dive right in, huh?

My boy Cad Bane is back right off the bat, this time tasked with procuring a Holocron from the Jedi Archives (holocrons are a palm-sized box of data including Jedi legends and strategy, as well as that thing you could collect all of to win a game of Star Wars Galactic Battlegrounds without ever having to fight anybody) in this three-parter; Holocron Heist, Cargo of Doom and Children of the Force.

So, technically, we start out with a space battle, much sleeker and more cinematic than anything from Season 1. It's clear the team has not only gotten a better grip on this style of animation, but have a larger budget than they did last season to really make something that's great to look at as well as watch. When Ahsoka's ego gets in the way during a battle, she's brought before the Jedi council, chastised, and removed from the battlefield, to serve under the watchful eye of my favorite Jedi (besides Yarael Poof, of course) Jocasta Nu in the Archives. There, she's assigned to guard the vault that contains the Holocrons. Good, we all up to speed? Great, now back to Bane.

Our first shot of him is this gorgeous crescent of light revealing a peek of his face, his silhouette at the window, as he receives instructions from Darth Sidious. After making his demands (a stealth ship, a cloaking device and triple his usual fee), summoning Cato Parasitti, a Clawdite (the same species as Zam Wessel from Attack of the Clones, remember her?) and reprogramming his sassy Seth Green voiced robot, Bane is ready. They break in and Ashoka, distracted with Parasitti first disguised as a Jedi Master and then Jocasta, has her hands too full to contend with Bane as well, and he makes off with the Holocron. The captured Parasitti give the now assembled Jedi a name, Bolla Ropal, and soon the intent of Bane's employer is made clear: the Holocron contained the names of all the force sensitive children in the galaxy, and Bolla Ripal is the keeper of said knowledge.

As we see in Cargo of Doom, a holocron can only be opened by a Jedi. After capturing and torturing Bolla to no avail, Bane kills him and allows Anakin and Ahsoka to board his ship with the intent to trap one and force them to open the holocron. A lengthy bout ensues (the details of which it would be silly to recount), but long story short there's some terrific zero gravity fighting, some fleeing and pursuing, and Cad finally captures Ahsoka, sealing her in an airlock, stealing her padawan braid and holding her hostage unless Anakin opens the holocron. Anakin allows his personal attachment to this girl to cloud his judgement as a Jedi, and thus sets in motion the intended death of innocent children. You know, for the first time, but certainly not the last.

Cad Bane escapes by opening the airlock, forcing Anakin to rescue Ahsoka instead of fight, and after discovering his own ship has been overtaken by clones, is confronted by two troopers, who he kills and steals the armor of in order to blend in and make his escape. When they return from the mission, Anakin assumes Bane died on the trip, but is troubled that he can still sense him with the force (I've noticed the rules of what can and can't be sensed by the Force aren't terribly consistent in this series), while assuring Ahsoka that everything from the holocron opening to Bane's escape is his fault, not hers.

Children of the Force opens with Anakin discovering Bane's blood in one of their ships, while Ahsoka attempts to interrogate the trooper who allegedly killed Bane to no avail. Attempting to warn Ahsoka that the silent trooper my be a ruse, Anakin is too late as the disguised Cad delivers a knee to Ahsoka's stomach and escapes, solidifying his title as most badass character with the name Bane. Anakin warns the council of Bane's escape, and they fear for the safety of the force sensitive children listed in the Holocron. They're right to do so, it seems, as Sidious demands Bane kidnap some force sensitive children and bring them to the planet Mustafar.

The council dispatches Anakin to Naboo and Obi-Wan to Rodia to try and rescue children they felt were in danger through the force, but unfortunately one is too late. Obi-Wa arrives only to find the child's hypnotized mother holding him at gunpoint, Cad in the doorway, having posed as a Jedi, fleeing with the child. Meanwhile, Anakin places Ahsoka on duty to guard a Gungan child, and Bane, hoping to find the child, stumbles upon Ahsoka in it's room instead. They fight, and Bane is eventually subdued, with Ahsoka reclaiming her braid upon his capture. While Sidious instructs robots on Mustafar to perform nefarious surgery on the babies (with the Drago mentality of "If they die, they die"), Bane offers to lead Mace Windu and Obi-Wan to the holocron, only to drive the into a trap and escape once more, while the Jedi manage to procure the Holocron and escape before the ship explodes.

Through Cad Bane's ship's fueling log, Anakin determines Bane broth the children to Mustafar, and he and Ahsoka make their way there. Sidious senses their presence and demands the droid destroy the facility, meaning this show has gone from "Let's rescue a Hutt baby" to "Let's toss some babies into some ****ing lava". Thankfully, the Jedi rescue the children (who, mind you, were being used as human shields by the droids, 'cause this show goes hard) and escape the facility, reporting to Yoda that the issue is resolved, and Yoda in return urges caution moving forward.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'd watch a whole show of Padme. She's been one of the best improvements from the franchise this series has done, and this first of a five part story, Senate Spy, is made so much better with her as the focal point. Anakin returns from abroad and visit's Padme's apartment, bringing her gifts and dismissing a reluctant to leave C-3PO because they gone fuuuuuuuuu.....ight, apparently. Before they can even have a moment alone, Anakin is summoned by the Jedi council and told he needs to persuade Padme to spy on Senator Clovis, who's suspected of being a Separatist spy, which she refuses to do, because the two have a history (but she says he's just a friend. Yeah, she say he just a fwiend). I men, until Anakin says she shouldn't, because then she gets all "You are not the boss of me, I'm gonna do it" because this is what couples do. So Padme agrees to spy on Clovis, who it turns out is working for the Separatists. He invites her to join him on Cato Neimoidia, and she agrees, bringing Anakin as her bodyguard, since he's definitely emotionally stable enough to handle it. After a lot of banter and jealousy, Padme discovers and steals plans for a droid building facility on Geonosis that Clovis would have been funding, and manages to distract Clovis with romantic interest while getting the information to Anakin (as he glares at them from the doorway in jealous rage, Padme wraps Clovis in her arms tight, Anakin to his back, and drops the disk behind him for Anakin to catch with the force), but she's poisoned by a drink the Neimoidians drugged. Anakin comes to her aid, and Clovis, realizing his love for Padme is more important than any business deal, and holds Lott Dod at gun point until he surrenders the antidote. The three flee to the ship, but Anakin leaves Clovis behind to presumably die all because he had the audacity to mack on Anakin's secret wife (perhaps in a reference to the plagues visited on pursuers of Abram's wife who he claimed was his sister in Genesis. At the very least, it makes just as little sense). Anakin cures Padme himself, and their love is rekindled. And thank goodness, because its tough to even imagine what tragedy would befall Padme had she actually fallen for Clovis, who would be willing to sacrifice his life for her safety, instead of staying with the guy who will in about three years time force choke her and cause her to die during pregnancy.

The follow-up, Landing at Point Rain, forgoes much of the forced plotting that weighed down season 1 and just goes **** it, it's a war show, here's a battle, and it's honestly much the better for it. The troops fight the Geonosians, and the only real semblance of a plot thread is Anakin and Ahsoka having a game to see who can kill the most droids, ending with Ki-Adi-Mundi, the presumably uptight, stoic Jedi, admitting he not only kept count, but beat both other Jedi. It's a great little episode that helps carry the story along with some fun action sequences.

Weapons Factory is where the Western influences start to shine through the strongest, and not just because of the "blowing up the bridge" sequence a la The Good, The Bad and the Ugly and later Gore Verbinski's The Lone Ranger (and many others, but figured I'd take the opportunity to plug two of my favorite westerns). Ahsoka is paired up with the Padawan of Luminara Unduli, Barriss. Yeah, there's the typical TV show "jealousy" thing running as a thread through the episode, but mostly it's another action-heavy episode involving the destruction of a supertank.

Legacy of Terror is all about the ambience. A plot description it would be as minimal as its potential is vast, and it lives up to it. Beneath a temple in Geonosis lies a queen creature that looks like the most badass video game boss that never was, who utilizes worm craters that can reanimate dead beings and control them through a hive mind. Yes, Luminara gets captured and then rescued by Obi-Wan and Anakin. Yes, Obi-Wan wants to study the seemingly last remaining of the worm creatures, but Anakin stomps it and tells Obi-Wan to "study the bottom of my boot". Yeah, there are some great highlights of this terrifically chilling episode, but somehow the next episode is even darker, more intense and I honestly can't wait to get to it, so let's just get right to it.

The conclusion of this five-parter is Brain Invaders, which is much better than the title suggests, I assure you. Ashoka and Barrios are charged with transporting medical supplies while the Jedi Masters focus on transporting Poggle the Lesser. Unbeknownst to anyone, though, an egg had escaped the collapsed temple (oh, yeah, last episode they collapsed the temple with the queen still inside, so she's probably dead), and hatches, with the worm inside crawling into the ear of one of the clone troopers resting by the temple. He and his brethren are given orders to travel with Ahsoka and Barriss, so an infected Clone Trooper, who can spread the infection, boards a spaceship with the two jedi and several other clones, and if you're thinking "If I'm lucky, this episode could be the perfect blend of Alien-like fear and isolation and The Thing paranoia", then face it tiger, you hit the jackpot.

Turns out the infected trooper has a backpack full of whom eggs, and when the ship jumps into hyperspace, Ahsoka and Barrios decide to grab some food while Scythe, the infected trooper, tosses some of the eggs into the barracks, infecting more troopers. Some storm the cockpit, killing the pilots and overtaking the ship, others storm the mess hall and attempt to subdue the Padawans, but are themselves subdued, and when two more troopers drive, the Jedi are initially hostile. They interrogate the two troopers, Trap and Havoc, who they realize are thus far not possessed. After failing to make contact with the bridge, Trap, Ahsoka and Barriss decide to decide to head there, leaving Havoc behind to guard the unconscious troopers.

Obi-Wan and Anakin are troubled to find out the medical supplies have yet to arrive, but Ki-Adi Mundi advises them to focus on interrogating Poggle. Back on the ship, the infected have set the autopilot and security shields, trapping the uninfected. Barriss attempts to take down the shields when a newly attempted Trap attempts to stop her. This leads to a sequence of him spitting a the worm from his mouth and being stabbed through the chest with a lightsaber in the single most badass non-Cad Bane moment of the series thus far. The two decide to split up, and while Ahsoka manages to get a message out to Kit Fisto, Barrios manages to get infected by a worm. Anakin, furious for the safety of his Padazan, attempts to use a jedi mind trick to get Poggle to talk. Poggle snickers about how mind tricks won't work on him, and Anakin assure Poggle he won't need any. He then proceeds to mercilessly beat and force choke Poggle, while the theme to The Wire plays (at least in my head it did). Swiftly, Anakin contacts Ahsoka to tell her that cold temperature will kill the worms, and she ruptures the coolant system before having to square off with a possessed Barrios who, in a moment of clarity, begs for death. Ashoka, however, refuses, killing only the worm emitted from Barriss' mouth. Finally docking, Kit Fisto finds the girls frozen within the ship, and gets them medical attention.

The kick off of this two-parter, Grievous Intrigue, offers not a lot of intrigue, but a hell of a lot of action, and that's fine by me. There's some fighting between Obi-Wan and Grievous, some talk of eliminating all of the Jedi, some Grievous climbing on all fours backward like a spider, it's a rousing good time that ends with Grievous escaped to the planet Saleucami on the Outer Rim, and that sets up the most Harlan Ellison this show has ever gotten.

The Deserter finds us on the planet Saleucami, where Commander Rex has been shot. Needing a safe place to receive medical attention, one of the clone troopers tending to him realizes they're on a farm and therefor there must be a farmhouse. They find it, and the woman presiding over the farm is initially hostile, but agrees to let Rex recover in the barn, while her children are eager to see him and even tell him he look like their dad, which ignites the nerd imagination to wonder "Can clones have children? What is one did just try and start a life?" turns out the writers have wondered that too, as Rex is confronted by the farm's patriarch, a clone going by the name Cut Lawquane. Rex is initially disgusted that Cut would abandon his brothers and his purpose, but Cut insists that even clones have free will, and that his family is with him on that farm, not on some battlefield; that they are his purpose.

Grievous, meanwhile, has located an escape pod and called for an airlift. Obi-Wan catches up to the general and attempts to engage him in battle, but Grievous uses a grappling hook to latch onto a Separatist ship and escape, making the entire endeavor of landing on the planet pointless, frustrating the Jedi immensely. Meanwhile, Cut Lawquane's children accidentally activate a dormant platoon of droids who quickly attack the farm. Setting their differences aside, Cut and Rex fight side by side to defend the farm, Cut even saving Rex's life. The next morning, upon his departure, Rex assures the family that while it's his duty to report the deserter, he'll likely "not remember" the events on this planet. Cut reminds him this could be a life for him as well, no more killing, a family, etc. But Rex assures him his family is elsewhere, out on the battlefield.

We return to the Blade Runner underbelly of Coruscant for this fleeting but fun one off, Lightsaber Lost. When Anakin and Ahsoka raid a bar looking for an arms dealer, Ahsoka gets her lightsaber pickpocketed, a fact she hides from her master when he exits the bar with their target. Ahsoka explains everything to Jocasta who, to her credit, doesn't narc, but rather brings her attention to Tera Sinube, an old reptilian Jedi who is an expert on Coruscant's criminal underground. After ascertaining the identity of Ahsoka's thief through a database, they set out in search of the lightsaber which, after a series of interrogations appears to be in possession of a Nack Movers. Arriving at his girlfriend's apartment, they find Nack's dead body, and a frightened Ione Marcy, apparently Nack's girlfriend, asking if the men who killed Nack were gone. Tera stays to comfort the girl, while Ahsoka searches the apartment, and soon finds her lightsaber in the hand of a bounty hunter named Cassie, who flees upon the realization that Ahsoka is a Jedi. Ashoka swiftly informs Tera of this development, and takes off after her.

There's some stellar moments in this episode, from Tera's calm revealing of his knowledge of Ione's deception (Ione and Cassie are in some Thelma & Louise style partnership), or Ahsoka sliding down a video screen of Emperor Palpatine's face reminiscent of those screens of Wallace Breen in Half-Life 2.  Cassie gives chase, the two Jedi chase after, and after a showdown onboard a train (the jedi find them at a train station because Tera planted a tracking device on Ione, because in one episode Tera has demonstrate more tactical skill than Obi-Wan has in two seasons), the two are arrested and Ahsoka's lightsaber recovered. Tera urges Ahsoka to share what she has learned, and we're treated to a very sweet sequence of Ahsoka explaining to the younglings under Yoda's tutelage that you should take care engirding your lightsaber.

So, bet you didn't know Mandalore, birthplace of Jango Fett, was a peaceful planet, did you? Run by pacifist leader Duchess Satine, the planet's warriors allegedly all died out on Concordia, the planet's moon, but a fringe terrorist group known as the Death Watch has been committing acts of violence both on and off world, and when one attacks a Republic cruiser, it sets in motion the events of The Mandalore Plot, Voyage of Temptation and Duchess of Mandalore.

The events of the three episodes get a bit repetitive, with three different handsome human characters ending up being traitors (as though it wasn't already predictable back when it happened in Cloak of Darkness), so I'll attempt to streamline this as best I can.

Obi-Wan arrives on Mandalore and confront Satine to see if she's behind the Mandalorian attack, she explains the Death Watch. The romantic tension is so palpable between Satine and Obi-Wan that you can tell long before he reveals it that the two had a history (he was charged with protecting the duchess when he was still Qui-Gon's padawan). The Death Watch, dissatisfied with Satine's pacifist ways, are working with the Separatists in order to rally the people of Mandalore to overthrow her. After a terrorist bomber commits suicide to evade capture (yeah, this show goes ****ing hard), Obi-Wan and Satine travel to Concordia and meet Governor Pre Vizla, who is a handsome human, so long story short he's a traitor. The only truly notable thing from this encounter is that Vizla brandishes a Darksaber saying "This lightsaber was stolen from your Jedi Temple by my ancestors during the fall of the Old Republic. Since then many Jedi have died upon its blade." which is a canonical first for both the Old Republic and darksabers. Obi-Wan, believing that Separatists are behind the Death Watch, still cannot persuade Satine to set aside her neutral attitudes.

Aboard a ship called Coronet, Anakin and Obi-Wan stress to the troops that the safety of the Duchess is of paramount importance, and the team is promptly split up to deal with assassin probes. There's a whole convoluted affair with Anakin battling stealthy probes in the cargo hold while Obi-Wan pulls a Hercule Poirot during the duchess' dinner to determine who of her guests was the traitor (surprise, surprise, it was the handsome human), the highlight of the episode being when the duchess, who'd been kidnapped by the traitor, breaks free, and both she and Obi-Wan hold the man at "gunpoint". He explains that he's rigged the entire ship to blow, and that one of them has to kill him. Yet, if Satine does, she'll be betraying her pacifist ideals, and if Obi-Wan does, he'll lose Satine's respect. Of course, before either of them has to burden themselves with idealistic compromise, Anakin shows up and within seconds has stabbed the an through the stomach because he knows how to get s**t done.

The final episode of the trilogy...kinda does the same thing the last two have done, with betrayal, Death Watch assassination attempts, etc. The main difference is the subplot involving a heavily doctored recording being used to try and get legislation passed in the Senate, but once the falsification is exposed, the government quickly recoils and rejects the motion, and that in and of itself is apparently the stuff of science fiction.

Hell yes, it's another Padme episode in Senate Murders. We get to once more see her Rodian uncle along with his aid Lolo, attending the Senate to introduce a bill to cut military spending, because this show is House of Cards for kids. Of course, two senators who stand to directly benefit from the production of these troops oppose this bill because they "believe in the war effort". These senators names, and really have your deciphering caps on to figure out if there's any allusions here, are Senator Deechi (who's full name is Mee Deechi, and is a reference to the House of Medici, and the fact that I think Deechi sounds like Dick Cheney is just a sign I need to put on my tin foil hat) and Senator Halle Burtoni (I'm just gonna put my tin foil hat away). After Burtoni greets Onaconda (Padme's uncle), he dies, so obviously the spotlight is on her in terms of suspicion. I could walk you through the back and forth and detours of the episode or how ill fitting Tom Kenny's voice is for the Peter Lorre looking detective, especially for the dark tone of the episode, but I'll just up and address the fun-enough twist of Lolo doing it, not because it was her, but why. That it had nothing to do with the current bill, but rather the outrage at how he let her planet fall apart with war on its soil. She's promptly arrested, but the bill fails anyway. Because its important to teach kids that wartime politics is a broken system of weak idealists, bigots and profiteers that will continue to churn out money and bodybags, both unevenly distributed between the upper and lower class with an ever shrinking middle.

Cat and Mouse...I don't even really see a point in discussing. Beyond it being the first story in the Clone Wars timeline, this episode is utterly unremarkable and has virtually no effect on anything going forward. It deals with Christophsis again, where Anakin has to contend with a Separatist stealth ship which you know he'll defeat because we've seen the battle of Christophsis and it's not a factor. Do we really want to do a synopsis?

The Separatists have a ship called Invincible. It's not.

Cool, moving on.

Oh, Bounty Hunters is fun. It is so, so much fun, in no small part due to the same recognition factor that occurs with Hostage Crisis. When Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan land on the planet Felucia in search of a lost medical station, they instead stumble upon fa family of farmers, and before they know it, are set upon by bounty hunters. Four of them. This is when the farmers explain they hired the bounty hunters to help protect them from pirates who constantly demand "tributes" from the farmers. The three Jedi agree to, for once, work with the four bounty hunters to protect the farmers, making the total number 7, and what a magnificent seven they are.

You guys, it's the plot to Seven Samurai, Akira Kurosawa's masterpiece (and that's saying something). You know what? I'm not even gonna get into the plot of this one. Either you know it or you don't, and if you don't, go out and rent Seven Samurai as soon as possible. It's one of the greatest films ever made (yes, even surpassing the Holy Trilogy, as heretical as that sounds). You won't regret it.

The penultimate storyline of the season continues the trend of cinematic homage, in this case the seminal kaiju film and Hollywood classic that inspired it. The Zillo Beast pays great tribute to a certain movie about a reptilian destroyer of Tokyo. Anakin, Mace Windu and a hologram of Palpatine wonder about the negative consequences of their new Electro-Proton Bomb, intended to effect only droids and not their troops. The troops, however, are so vastly outnumbered, they have no option but to use it, and damned if it isn't a hell of a sequence to watch (observe the first half of this video, and note the projectile is so A-bomb looking you expect Slim Whitman to be riding on it). Sure enough, the droids are wiped out, disabled by an EMP blast which also takes out Palpatine's hologram and Anakin's arm (one of the only acknowledgments of Anakin's robot hand this whole show thus far, so much so I'd forgotten about it). Yet, the group has little time to celebrate, as the ground beneath them begins to shake, and a sink hole traps several troopers. While Anakin works to negotiate a trade deal with the leader of the planet, Mace goes below to investigate and rescue, when one of the survivors warns him of something dangerous.

That something, it turns out, is a giant creature known as the Zillo Beast, who is virtually indestructible. His scales, it turns out, cannot even be penetrated by lightsabers. It's the lightsaber revelation that immediately fascinates Palpatine, and he demands they capture the creature so that its scales could be studied and used for new clone trooper armor, and the fact that Palpatine really wants lightsaber-proof clone trooper armor doesn't phase any of the Jedi in the slightest (so, really, they kind of deserved to die at this point). The natives of the planet want the creature dead, as its the last of its breed, and they had believed it to be extinct (and should like to keep it that way), but Anakin devises a plan to stun it that it might appear dead, thereby appeasing the natives and securing the trade agreement, and allowing the Republic to take the creature for study (and armor development, for easier eventual Order 66 stuff). The plan works, even with the foolhardy interference of the native leader, and Palpatine tells them to bring the creature to Coruscant, because in a galaxy far, far away, nobody's seen how that worked out in King Kong.

And speaking of King Kong, if The Zillo Beast is Godzilla, The Zillo Beast Strikes Back is so, so King Kong, and it's glorious. Back on Coruscant, Mace Windu worries that the danger the creature poses outweighs any potential benefit from study, and Obi-Wan concurs, but advises Windu that might seek help from someone more prominent in Palpatine's esteem. Palpatine, meanwhile, has a solution for the problem of scale removal causing the beast great pain: simply kill it. The researcher he's assigned to it objects, suggesting the beast is sentient, but Palpatine assures her that another researcher can be assigned to the study should her conscience prevent her from doing what's necessary.

Obi-Wan and Padme implore Anakin to speak to Palpatine about the error of killing the creature, and he agrees, but when the secret couple meets with Palpatine and one of his advisors, Anakin stays neutral in the heated debate, much to Palpatine's pleasure and Padme's disdain. Naturally, since this is a King Kong homage, you know the beast breaks free, and climbs to the top of the senate building (except this time holding a ship with Palpatine, Anakin, Padme and R2 instead of Fay Wray). Eventually, the group escape its clutches, and the Republic proceeds to poison-bomb the s**t out of the creature until it dies, slowly and agonizingly, for all to see, because that's something a kids show does now. Anakin laments the tragedy that's just unfolded (sadly not saying beauty killed the savage beast, but there's only so much homage I can ask for), while Palpatine instructs his scientist on a new undertaking: clone the creature.

Lastly, the season fully earns its "Rise of the Bounty Hunters" subtitle in this, the Boba Fett trilogy. Death Trap starts us off with a group of young clones touring a Republic ship, and one familiar looking young boy named Lucky appearing to be the most promising of the new "recruits". The first act plays out like Ender's Game, and if the whole episode had just been showing us how the Republic army functions through the eyes of kids blessedly bereft of even an ounce of Amblin, I would have been ok. We get to see sarcastic troopers, looking to rile up the young ones ("Admit it, you're lost", "What do you shoot at?" "Malfunctioning droids"), we see that Anakin proudly showboats in front of the kids in order to boost his ego. In the end, this episode is about more than just kids, though. Or rather, it's about one kid in particular, as Lucky is actually Boba Fett, the "son" of Jango Fett, and he's aboard the ship to exact revenge on Mace Windu for beheading his "father". After a bomb planted by Boba fails to kill Windu (a trooper sets it off instead), the entire ship is on the look out, and Aura Sing (who has apparently become Boba's mentor) instructs him he must attack the ship's core, killing everyone. He's reticent, but concedes, and when a trooper finds him in the console room, assuming him lost, Boba gets ahold of the trooper's blaster and beats him over the head with it, then firing the blaster on him when he's down (admittedly on stun, but the scene is still so grim they didn't run it in Australia). The children, Boba included, are all confined to one escape pod as everyone aboard the ship flee, and that pod is intercepted by the Slave One, and Aura convinces Boba to let the pod full of kids drift off and die in the cold emptiness of space because they're living witnesses, and he with regret concurs, muttering an apology as he shuts the door and abandons the to the cold embrace of oblivion.

Yeah, Obi-Wana and Anakin rescue them moments later, but it would have been so much cooler if the didn't.

R2 Come Home is the weakest of the three, as a fair amount of it involves R2-D2 pulling Home Alone style traps on the pursuing bounty hunters after Anakin and Mace are trapped beneath rock. The one highlight is what causes them to be trapped, that Boba Fett plants a bomb inside his father's helmet that explodes upon being lifted. Mace knows better, but Anakin unwittingly causes the explosion, and the two are stuck waiting for R2 to get help, which he does, so nothing of actual consequence happens, nothing is established or resolved, no character development occurs. It's just filler, but its far more engaging filler than the kind we encountered in Season 1, so I'll cut it slack.

The finale, Lethal Crackdown, cranks up the Western influence to 11, even without an appearance from resident gunslinger Cad Bane. Anakin and Mace Windu are in recovery at the Jedi temple when they receive a transmission from Aura Sing revealing the men they thought had died with the ship, including Admiral Kilian and Ponds, are alive and in the possession of the bounty hunters. Well, they were alive, since Aura tries to make Boba execute Ponds for the Jedi (and the viewer at home) to see, before she shoves him out of the way and does it herself. Ashoka and Plo Koon take it upon themselves to go after the survivors, but Ahsoka's hot temper prevents them from being able to gather much intel.

Meanwhile, a rift has arisen between the bounty hunters, and after they arrive on the planet Florrum and Aura seeks out her lover, Hondo (the pirate we've seen in, well, every episode a pirate has been mentioned), one of the bounty hunters calls a friend to vent about how he's been treated. However, Aura overhears and kills him on the spot. Back at one of Coruscant's underground bars, Plo advises Ahsoka to simply listen and focus, and she overhears someone say their friend got killed from being overheard talking on Florum (I couldn't think of a better way to word that), and after a brief skirmish in the bar when Ahsoka gets caught eavesdropping, the two head to the planet to try and rescue their comrades.

When they arrive on Florum, they're greeted by Hondo who walks them to the cantina to meet Aura, but freely admits to them its a trap (doing so so they know he isn't behind the trap). Sure enough, the cantina is empty but for Aura and a single table, and she attempts to extort Koon for a ransom, claiming she has a comlink to Bossk, who will execute the hostages should he not apply. Simultaneously, Ahsoka destroys Aura's comlink and puts her lightsaber to Aura's throat, and Boba Fett puts a blaster to the back of Plo Koon's head. It's a tense mexican stand off, very Ford/Leone in nature, concluding in a flipped table and Aura escaping with Ahsoka giving chase.

Plo tries to extract the location of the hostages from Boba, who finally relents when Hondo tells him Jango would want him to do the honorable thing, even though...I mean, judging from all we'd seen of him and his chosen profession, I don't know how true that actually is. Anyway, Plo gets the intel to Ahsoka, who manages to rescue the hostages seconds before their execution. Aura manages to take off in the Slave One and, in one of the most badass sequences in the show, Ahsoka jumps onto the moving ship and just starts hacking away in furious anger at the windshield of the ship, eventually destablizing it and dismounting before it crashes in a fiery wreckage. Later, on Coruscant, the captured Boba Fett apologizes to the assembled Jedi, including Mace Windu, for the damage he's down, but vows that he will never forgive Windu for the death of his father.

And if all that isn't enough to convince you this season is worth watch, let's just note that Boba Fett's "theme" in the three episodes, which plays whenever there's a moment of significance for the character, is the first three notes of the four note harmonica refrain from Once Upon A Time in the West.

So, overall, is Season Two worth watching? An emphatic yes. With a single exception, there isn't a boring or commonplace episode in the bunch. The show is really finding its footing here, and hints that the next season will be even more assured and engaging as such. It's bookended by some really gripping action, and is packed with varied stories, exciting set pieces and some clever homages. Even if you weren't sold on Season 1, definitely give this season a glance. If for no other reason than a significant lack of Jar Jar (who I still stand by, damn it).

Come back next week, where we'll talk about Season 3 of The Clone Wars.